The last two of us five children in the family are the closest in age to each other, with only 14 months between us.
Our clothes were made at home, often with us two wearing the same style dresses made from one piece of cloth. People used to ask if we were twins, even though we didn't look alike.
It was, therefore, very natural for me to call this sister by her personal name, instead of her title, which is Third [Older] Sister. If my [maternal] grandma was visiting and heard me do this, she'd tell me off for it -- every single time. It doesn't matter how close you are in age, an older sibling's position in the family is his/her prerogative, and that has to be observed (if not respected in spirit).
We had two servants at home in the 60s when I was growing up. The dinner table was only a few feet away from the kitchen sink, but we children were all brought up to take our empty plates and cutlery to the sink when we left the table -- to save the servants this bit of work, even though they were being paid to do it (among other things).
One day, my brother (the middle of five children, and the only boy, therefore the pet by default, as per the Chinese practice) got up after finishing his food and started to walk away without doing this. My second sister (two years his senior) called him back, "Dave, take your plate to the sink." He thought about it, and decided to ignore her. As he turned away to walk off, my second sister said, "Did you hear me, Dave? I said to take your plate to the sink." This time, he didn't dare defy her authority as an older sibling -- not for a second time anyway. Such is the force of the pecking order.
(Singapore, 1950s–75)
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