My family upbringing also taught us to check the size of each dish on the table, to make sure that there's enough for everyone else when you dive in. Go for seconds if there's still some left after everyone's had a share. It's not so much about food, but pure respect and consideration for other people, even if they're your own family, not a guest.
I was the last to arrive at the Chinese restaurant for the teacher-student Xmas meal, so the only seat left at the round table right in the corner was the first one the waitress would get to when she brought the food up.
Instead of taking my share and passing the dish round the table, I chose, as per my family upbringing, to turn the lazy Susan so that the person on my left got the first share, with me being, therefore, the last.
The boyfriend from the previous meal with the other lot of students was there again, but it was a different teacher-student meal this time (with his girlfriend being the teacher instead of the student, me trying to help her meet her bills by giving her some teaching hours). So, on both occasions, he had nothing to do with the group, but had obviously just tagged along for the food (and the shared bill). No one else had brought their partners.
He was three seats away from me, which is less than halfway round the table of ten.
When each dish got to him, he'd pile his rice bowl up high, then the side plate as well, with as much of the food as he could, before turning the lazy Susan to move it on to the next person. There was so much food in his bowl and on his side plate that it looked like he was hoarding for a famine on the horizon.
This was the second meal where he repeated the poking around, with his own chopsticks, in the seafood noodle dish, yet again "looking for the squid" when I asked him what he was doing. I then heard him telling the people beside him that I'd told him off the previous time for doing the same thing.
When I next saw the class, after Xmas, two of the chaps (who are very caring and considerate men) complained at the pub session after the lesson that they got hardly any food out of the whole evening, because so much of it had been siphoned off by diner No.4 that there wasn't much left by the time it got to them, the last two of the ten at the table.
I said if I were to turn up for the next meal with the students and find him there, I'd suddenly remember I had a double booking and walk out.
In hindsight (my brain is so slow), I should've turned the situation round. If the lazy Susan wouldn't revolve in the other direction, I should've physically picked up each dish to give to No.9 and No.10 first, and asked them to pass it round the other way. That would've meant those two men getting some food, and perhaps also sent a message to people who seem to be out for a cheap meal, eating more than their one-tenth share of the bill. More importantly, it's to let them know that one has to respect and think of other people as well.
(London, late 90s)
* lazy Susan: (from googling) a turntable (rotating tray) placed on a table or countertop to aid in distributing food. Lazy Susans may be made from a variety of materials but are usually glass, wood, or plastic. They are circular and placed in the centre of a table to share dishes easily among diners.
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