The naughtiest girl in the school (Singapore)

I mentioned to Wilson Tan (schoolmate in the Arts stream at Raffles Institution [RI]) Siva’s nickname for me (in blog Reputations live on forever).  He asked me what I’d done to Siva to warrant such a sobriquet.  I said I didn’t remember doing anything TO Siva, whose nickname for me, I do remember, was Twinkle Toes as I was (and still am) very clumsy.

I told Wilson the only thing I could think of was what I did do to James Shi's name.  

Each day, two students’ names would go up on the blackboard for classroom cleaning duties.  When James’s name was up, I’d go and draw three horizontal lines extending right from the vertical of the last letter in SHI, making him James SHE.

Coming away from that conversation with Wilson, three more memories have now surfaced.

One of the boys in my class is called Wee Bin, with the nickname of Vim (given by his family, I think).  There was a TV advert at the time for a scouring powder under the brand name of Vim.  The jingle was sung in English and Cantonese to the same tune.  The English version goes:

All cleaning jobs are easy easy easy

All cleaning jobs are easy easy easy

All cleaning jobs are easy — with VIM!

I’d sing it to poor Wee Bin each time I saw him.

One day, I witnessed him throwing a piece of scrunched-up paper into the waste paper basket, so I went, “From one Bin to another!”  Poor boy.

There was another boy in my class, Boo Tat, whom we’d affectionately call Boo Boo.  At the time, there was a pop song called Me and You and a dog named Boo (1971 single debut by Lobo), so I’d sing it to Boo Tat whenever I saw him.

I’m now beginning to understand how I got that nickname…

(Singapore, 1971–1972)

Reputations live on forever:  https://piccola-chinita.blogspot.com/2017/12/reputations-live-on-forever-singapore.html 

How much spookier can it get? (London)

Whenever I’m early for an appointment (e.g., teaching), I’d kill time by diving into the nearest charity shop and almost invariably emerge with an armful of books.  

One of those is Collected Ghost Stories by M.R. James (published 1931, and with stories set in the 1800s even).  It then got left sitting around for ages (like all such purchases) — easily ten years, I’d say.

I recently returned to my reading habit, in an effort to de-clutter my flat.  

First thing I saw on the front cover picture of the Ghost Stories book is a moonlit path winding through a forest, with a female figure on it, a bit like an illustration out of Red Riding Hood.  It looked just like the route I used to take from Pymble station back to my ex-schoolmate Wilson’s house in Sydney when I was visiting in 2002.  The female figure could well have been me.

Opened to the first story, and it was set near Auch (date: 1883).  Auch is this little town 6km from the French farm that I’d been going to since 1996.  Most French people, even those from the southern half of France, have not heard of Auch.

I finished reading the book in November last year.

BBC’s Radio 4 has a long-running soap opera, The Archers, broadcast since 1 January 1951, set in a farming community somewhere in the Midlands, England.  

In the episodes running up to Christmas just gone, one of the story lines included the character Jim Lloyd, a retired academic, being asked to put on a series of ghost-story telling performances in the attic of this grand manor house hotel as a form of Xmas entertainment, to earn some income for the hotel.  We're not actually treated to the full performances.

Three of those story-telling sessions ended up being used as separate 15-minute slots (not just in the soap opera) on Radio 4, at 6pm on Monday 30 Dec, Tuesday 31 Dec, and Wednesday 1 Jan.  I’d missed the Monday one — not that I was particularly trying to catch them.  

Was home before 6pm on Tuesday, New Year’s Eve, so decided to tune in.  Within the first two lines, I had identified it as one of the stories in that Collected Ghost Stories book.  The end credits confirmed this.  The Monday and Wednesday ones were not by the same author, by the way.  

What are the odds of that, I ask you!!  

Of the three recitals on offer, I had to go and choose the Tuesday one which featured a story I'd read.  

Of all the ghost stories published out there, one of the three (which is a very narrow range) in those separate slots had to come from a book that I’d bought at random in a charity shop a decade ago and only decided to read a month before the broadcast.  What had prompted me to read that one and not some other book?!

Another thing:  it was a book published in 1931, which is generally too ancient to be still floating around in the market.  

My hair stood on end, not because of the ghost element but all the spookiness of the coincidences raised by this one book alone!  

(London, 2019)

Smiling at strangers (London)

At the Wood Green library.  

Two old men by the wall are talking loudly.  I happen to turn my head round.  They pause.  I decide to smile, to let them know I'm not looking at them on account of their talking loudly.  

A few seconds later, one of them calls out, "Hello!"  I turn my head round.  He says, "You're very nice!"

I then hear them discussing (in Greek or Turkish) women from Philippines, Vietnam, Singapore.

I must be careful not to be so ready to smile at old men next time...

(London, 2019)

The irony of it (London)

At the library featured in blog "An uncharacteristic library":

Male social worker (a different one from the usual, older man) rings a number for a lady client (in her 70s?), and hands her the phone.  

She shouts (Turkish or Greek) into the phone, then passes the phone back to him when done after a couple of minutes.  

He also bellows into the phone to the other party, "I'M PHONING YOU FROM THE LIBRARY WHERE IT'S QUIET."

 (London, 2019)

Appeals to protestors (London )

During the Anti-Capitalist May Day demonstrations of 2002, shop windows were smashed, among other things.

One shop had this notice on their shop window:  

“Dear May Day Protestors, 

Please kindly do not smash our windows.  

Thank you.”

Underneath the notice were two helpful arrows, pointing in opposite directions, with “Starbucks” below one and “McDonalds” below the other.

Another one was a letter in the papers:

“Dear May Day Protestors, 

Please do not thrash our office.  

We are perfectly capable of doing it ourselves from within.

[signed] Staff, Arthur Andersen” 

(Arthur Andersen ceased operations in 2002)

(London, 2002)

Advice from a man (London)

The floating pub Tamesis Dock kitchen ran out of fish fillet for the fish and chips dish, so I was sent out to the cash and carry place (selling to caterers, not to the walk-in public) to buy some.  It was my first time there on my own.

Picked up a trolley outside — like one of those airport trolleys for conveying luggage: flat and long.  Customers obviously buy in bulk here.

Had difficulty pushing the trolley through the entrance.  It was reluctant to move forwards, and kept veering left into the wall.

An employee who spotted this — an Indian man in his 50s — said to me, “Don’t push it.  Pull it along, like you would a husband, and it'll follow you.”

(London, 2019)

*See also Marital bliss series (1-6)

Marital bliss:  1 (https://piccola-chinita.blogspot.com/2018/02/marital-bliss-01-london.html)

Marital bliss:  2 (https://piccola-chinita.blogspot.com/2018/02/marital-bliss-02-london.html)

Marital bliss:  3 (https://piccola-chinita.blogspot.com/2018/02/marital-bliss-03-london.html)

Marital bliss:  4 (https://piccola-chinita.blogspot.com/2018/02/marital-bliss-04-london.html)

Marital bliss:  5 (https://piccola-chinita.blogspot.com/2018/02/marital-bliss-05-london.html)

Marital bliss:  6 (https://piccola-chinita.blogspot.com/2018/03/marital-bliss-06-london.html)

Wrong-footed again! (London)

A young lady customer came for three pints.  

I: “How many are male drinkers, how many female?”  

She: “Two male, one female — me.”  

I: “I’ll give the men the jugs, and you the tall elegant glass then.”  

She: “No, let’s do it the other way round!”  

I: “You've wrong-footed me!  That’ll teach me to be so sexist!”  

We had a good giggle over that.  I’ve been telling other customers this tale since.

(London, 2019)