Chinese sayings: 07 (此地無銀三百兩 / 此地无银三百两)

 

此地無銀三百兩

cǐ dì wú yín sān bǎi liǎng

“this place not-have silver three hundred tael”

(兩 liǎng / tael: Chinese ounce)

Zhāng Sān had made a lot of money: 300 taels.  He decided to bury it at the back of his house for safe-keeping.  To be on the safe side, he wrote 此地無銀三百兩 on a board and placed it by the spot.

His neighbour Wáng Èr saw the sign, and of course dug up the silver.  Then, just in case Zhāng Sān should suspect him, Wáng Èr wrote up the following declaration on a board, and placed it next to Zhāng Sān’s original message:

隔壁王二未曾偷

gé bì Wáng Èr wèi céng tōu

“separate wall Wang Two not had steal”

*隔壁 gé bì / “separate wall" = to be separated by a wall, i.e., next door neighbour(s)

The version I’d read as a child was: two thieves had stolen 300 taels of silver and were lugging it back to their place.  On the way, Thief.1 had to go and answer nature’s call, so he asked Thief.2 to stand by the money.  While Thief.1 was away, Thief.2 also needed to go and answer nature’s call, so he dug a hole and buried the silver.  To make it absolutely clear, he wrote down “此地無銀三百兩” on a piece of paper, and left it by the buried silver.

Logic-defying conversations: 01 (London)

Malaysian Chinese student (81) brought a Malaysian Chinese friend (70s?) to the Saturday Longevitology energy adjustment session.  

The friend asked what I do when not doing energy adjustments.  I mentioned that I spend my time weeding for people.  She instantly cried out, “Oh, you’re worse than me!”  She didn’t look the type who’d be weeding other people’s gardens and (vegetable) allotments, so I asked, “In what way?”  

Her answer: “My garden is full of weeds!”  

Huh?!??

(London, 2023)

Is this your wheel? (London)

 

Got on the bus on Saturday to deliver some glass jars to someone further north in London.

As I sat down behind the pram area (the middle part of the bus, facing the exit door), an old man had just collected his shopping trolley parked there and was getting off the bus.  I saw a white wheel sitting on the floor (one of those for shopping trolleys, usually used by old people, about 5” in diameter — the wheels, not the old people), so I tried to call out to him that his wheel had come off.  A young mother with a pram, who’d got on after me and sat down next to me, said, “No, I’d already asked.  It’s not his wheel.”  I took a closer look at the old man walking away from the bus — yes, his trolley wasn’t limping; it had all its four wheels on.  Then, whose wheel was it?  How did the owner manage to walk off the bus without noticing it?

After a few more stops, another old person with a shopping trolley got off the bus, and a passenger in the pram-parking area called out, “Is this your wheel?”  No.  

Then, the young mother got off the bus with her pram.  I looked down at the floor where her pram had been. There was now another wheel sitting next to the shopping trolley wheel: a pram wheel, black, about 3” in diameter. Someone rushed to the door and called out to the young mother, “Is this your wheel?” No.  

Where did that come from?!?  It wasn’t there before!  How did wheels come to get left behind, yet no wheels were missing from the departing trolleys and prams??

The bus continued its long journey to Finchley, with the two unclaimed wheels sitting companionably side by side.  A surreal ride.

(London, 2023)

PS:  It’s just occurred to me that those two wheels must have sneaked on board for a free ride…

Half full or half empty: 01 （London)

I'd learned to do energy adjustment in March, taught by the founders of 長生學 / Longevitology (LG).  

So, in addition to my massages and gardening, I’ve taken on a couple of Parkinson’s cases (one 73 years old, one 84), a 97-year-old lady (daughter said she detects onset of dementia), an 86-year-old kidney case, and his 82-year-old diabetic wife.

These are all private arrangements (but free as all LG adjustment treatments are), in addition to my regular Saturday LG adjustment stint at a community centre as a volunteer — I need 40 official practice sessions to be eligible for the Advanced level course.  Advanced practitioners can adjust people long distance — down the phone line and on Zoom, so I’m very keen to progress to that point so that I can cover a bigger geographical area. 

This is the WhatsApp-message conversation between me and a friend.

Friend:  You sound busy. 

Me:  Trying to use my body before it packs up.

Friend:  Less likely to pack up if you use it!

Me:  Haha, depends on how you look at it: half full or half empty.  I once said, in defence of my carrying a rucksack, to an English chap (who said I was like a tortoise) that weight bearing is supposed to be good for building up bone density and warding off osteoporosis.  He said, “But you end up with a hunchback!”  So using my body could make the muscles stronger from the exercise.  Or: make the body weaker from the wear and tear.

(London, 2023)

Workmanship in London

My second skiing trip (March 1979) was to Kitzbǚhel in Austria, with a group from the Conoco London office.

On our first morning, walking to the cable car to go up to the slopes, we found a big hole in the street where our hotel was.  When we returned from the slopes around 5pm, it was already filled in.  The people in my group, all Brits, said, “If this was Britain, it’d still be there five days later.”

Fast forward to 2023.  The side of a main road in north London had been so badly repaired that the lumpy tarmac is riding up the kerb like a tsunami.  I have seen tarmac melting in the heat and flowing DOWN — I’ve never seen tarmac flowing UP the side of the kerb.  

Just the other day, a bus tried to let out a wheelchair ramp onto the kerb for a passenger.  The ramp couldn’t make contact with the kerb because of the tsunami crest in its path, so the driver had to retrieve the ramp, shut the door, drive the bus further forward past the bus shelter, and try again.  The wheelchair user had to move forward as well in order to use the ramp.  

Such shoddy workmanship.  And this is a country that used to rule a huge swathe of the world.

(London, 2023)