Saturday, 15 April 2017

Oops 2

Metro [newspaper], 130417:

Donald trump said the US bombing of a Syrian airfield began as he and China’s president enjoyed a ‘beautiful chocolate cake’.  
He also branded Syria’s president Bashar Al-Assad an ‘animal’ — despite getting Iraq and Syria mixed up during a TV interview.  
The president told Maria Bartiromo, of Fox Business, that the US military confirmed they had begun the missile attack on the airfield while he was dining with visiting Chinese president Xi Jinping last week at his Mar-a-Lago estate in Palm Beach, Florida.  He said: ‘We were having dessert.  We had the most beautiful piece of chocolate cake you’ve ever seen — President Xi was enjoying it — and I was given the message from the generals.
‘And I said, “Mr President, we’ve just launched 59 missiles heading to Iraq”.’

Oops, bombed the wrong country…

Friday, 14 April 2017


Those who have come into direct contact with the Chinese will have observed that they slurp their soups and drinks (as well as noodles [as do the Japanese]), which is generally considered bad manners — by the non-slurping cultures, anyway.  

I’d always thought that, logically, it was to cool the hot liquid a bit, so that it wouldn’t burn their tongues.  But surely they can blow on it instead, which is what grown-ups do when feeding very young children.  (In the case of noodles, it is more technical: it is not easy to suck up the long strings into the mouth quietly.)

Fifty years later (yes, I’m very slow thinking), it’s dawned on me there might be another reason.  Western wine tasters slurp the liquid, even though it is not hot.  (Tea tasters slurp, too.)  The reason is that this aerates the wine (and tea), which will help release the flavour and aroma.

I think, therefore, that even if the modern Chinese person slurps without consciously thinking of it as a means of improving the taste, it must be there in the culture that’s got built in over the years (thousands, maybe).  So, if I’m right, then once again it seems that the Chinese discovered something more profoundly scientific (than cooling down the liquid) a long, long time ago — an excerpt from my blog on The Chinese heart versus the Chinese brain said:

Another joke I used to apply to my teaching: in Chinese, one says 心里想 (xīn lǐ xiǎng / "heart inside think”)  for thinking something to oneself (“inside the heart”, without saying it aloud).  I'd say to the student, "The Chinese heart does all the emotional and intellectual processes.  The Chinese brain doesn't do any work.”  (I often say outrageous things because it’s more effective as a mnemonic, apart from making them laugh.)  A couple of years ago, I heard a programme on BBC’s Radio 4 saying scientists had discovered the human heart does more than just pumping blood around the body.  So, if it is true that language usage reflects thought/cultural processes, the Chinese must already have known long ago that the heart is in charge of all the intellectual and emotional processes as well.


Friday, 7 April 2017

Marking homework (London)

I had a reputation with my students for having a very active red pen.  

They’d get their homework back, covered in red: some were corrections, some were comments (on why a particular usage/translation was wrong), and some were my offerings of an alternative or a better version.  I often told them, by way of massaging their bruised ego, that if they made no mistakes, they were then in the wrong grade and should be in a higher grade, and that they were therefore not learning anything new.  This practically always worked.

They got so used to these red markings being an indication of how many mistakes they’d made that they’d occasionally cry out in surprise at a smiley face next to a correct or good sentence.

One of the evening students in my early days at the polytechnic, back in the 80s, was a lady in her 60s (70s??) who was very conscientious, handing in homework every week in spite of making loads of mistakes.  (Full marks for effort and attitude — it’s the trying that’s important.)  Every week, she had to leave ten minutes before the end of class to go and catch her train home (somewhere outside London).  She’d hand in her homework en route to the door, and say with a giggle and a shrug of her shoulders, “I’ll buy you a new red pen next week!”  Full marks, indeed, for attitude.

(London, 1986)

Saturday, 25 March 2017

Ambiguous signs/notices (London)

Lots of pillar boxes in London have two compartments, marked "London" and "Country".  I was once standing by one of these when I overheard a baffled tourist ask, "Which country?"

This sign by Tube escalators is increasingly disappearing now:  "Dogs must be carried."  Someone once asked, "What if I don't have a dog?"


*pillar box: (in the UK) a large red cylindrical public postbox.

Saturday, 4 March 2017

Batting it back (London)

On one of my Saturday night pub shifts, I walked past a high round table at which were seated two men in their fifties.  They, like most of the customers at this north London pub, were very friendly towards me, saying a cheery hello and asking how I was.

About half an hour later, I was around that part of the pub and found them now seated in one of the booths, with two new female additions.

One of the men said, “We’ve moved.  Sorry to confuse you.”  I said, “It’s not confusing.  It doesn’t make any difference, because all Westerners look the same to me anyway.”  All four of them collapsed in laughter. 

(London, 2017)

Friday, 3 March 2017

Freudian slip? (USA)

Evening Standard, 27 Jan 2017:  

White House drops an ‘H’ and a clanger

Aides were left red-faced today after the White House misspelled Theresa May’s name.  
The president’s press office sent out a memo about Donald Trump’s Oval Office meeting with Mrs May today but missed out the “h” in her first name.  It read:  “The President will partake in a bilateral meeting with United Kingdom Prime Minister, Teresa May.”  The “h” in Mrs May’s first name was dropped in two other mentions.  The mistakes were later corrected.  
The slip-up is all the more embarrassing as Teresa May is a retired glamour model and former soft-core porn actress. … 

Freudian slip?

(USA, 2017)

Tuesday, 28 February 2017

Self-incriminating action surely? (Malaysia / North Korea)

Metro 23 Feb 2017:  QUOTE Two women suspected of killing the half-brother of North Korea’s leader in Malaysia were trained to coat their hands with toxic chemicals then wipe them on his face, a police chief said yesterday.  They had practised the attack at two Kuala Lumpur shopping centres before targeting Kim Jong-nam at the city’s airport last week claimed Khalid Abu Bakar.  He said CCTV showed them keeping their hands away from their bodies after the fatal poisoning, then going to the toilets to wash.  North Korea — whose ruler Kim Jong-un is suspected of ordering the hit on his sibling — ridiculed the police claims.  It demanded the immediate release of the two ‘innocent women’, Doah Thi Huong, 28, from Vietnam and Siti Aisyah, 25, from Indonesia.  UNQUOTE
I can understand the "ridiculed the police claims" bit (an act of immediate self defence when accused).  But why should North Korea demand the immediate release of the two suspects when they aren't even N.Korean citizens?  Also, how did they come to the conclusion that they are innocent?  Finally, they're not even saying the women should be released; they are DEMANDING their IMMEDIATE release.  Self-incriminating surely?  

(Malaysia / North Korea, 2017)