Monday 14 March 2016

Sanity-challenging conversations: 1 (Singapore)


On this latest trip to Singapore, I experienced two strange conversations that made me think I was beginning to lose my ability to process linguistic information.

No.1
Susan:  I won’t be here next week.  I’ll be going to Bandung.
Me:       Ah, Bandung!  I was there in December 1973.  Ate avocado pear for the first time there.
Susan:  I love avocado pears.  Every time I go, I’ll be sure to eat some.
Me:       How many times have you been to Bandung?
Susan:  This is my first.
Me:       But you said “every time I go”.
Susan:  Oh, I meant Indonesia.


No.2
At a Chinese New Year lunch for the restaurant staff.  Lady Boss’s friend (LBF) (in her early 70s, I think) sat to my right, with Zhang Ming, one of the cooks, opposite me.


Me:  Zhang Ming, you can get on to the internet on your hand phone, right?  Can you google a famous Brazilian footballer for me?  I want all of you to take a look at him.  I think Heidi [the manager] looks like him.

Before Zhang Ming could even start keying in “google”:
LBF:    No, she doesn’t.
Me:     But you haven’t seen what he looks like yet!
LBF:    She doesn’t look like him.
Me:     How do you know that, when you haven’t even seen what he looks like?
LBF:   He’s a footballer.

It would've made more sense if she'd said, "How can a woman look like a man?" but on the basis that he's a footballer?!?

(Singapore, 2016)

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