The missing link (London)

 

I’ve got to the point in my life as a septuagenarian where I’m surrounded by people of my age (plus/minus a few years).

    This means that I also keep finding my brain constantly being challenged by conversational exchanges with strange logic or missing links.

Example 1:  

Susan (not her real name) brought up the subject of Gavin (not his real name) who, by a few accounts, is a difficult person.  They go to the same social club once a month, but are on nodding terms only.

    Susan said Gavin had had a go at the hotel staff at breakfast on a tour the social club had organised, just because they’d run out of eggs, saying, “He could’ve just put in a request for them to go and make some more.  Why throw a wobbly over such a small thing?”  

    I said, “I understand he’s divorced.  Maybe that’s why he’s divorced — difficult to live with.”  

    Susan then said, “But his wife still buys him the furniture for his flat!!”  

    I was surprised that she’d know so much about his private life, “How do you know that?  Did he tell you?  Do you know him well enough for him to tell you such things?”

    It turned out to be a different divorced man — one who lives in the same block as Susan.

Example 2:  

Mrs Lee (not her real name) lives in Cornwall but was visiting her son in London for a month.

    In her second week in London, I went to visit her on a Monday, and started to tell that I’d chanced upon some reduced-price fruit and veg at Supermarket X (a chain with branches all over the country), “Oh, by the way, last Saturday, I went past Supermarket X.  There were apples…” and she finished off the sentence for me, “…reduced to 69p.”  I was surprised, but carried on, “And pears…”, and she chipped in, “...reduced to 89p.”  Oh!  

    She provided the reduced prices for the next two items as well, so I said, “HOW ON EARTH do you know that?”  She said, “Of course!  I live next to Supermarket X!!”  

    Huh??!!  

    I said, “But you live in Cornwall, I’m talking about the branch in north London!  And I only went there last Saturday — you’ve been in London for over a week, so how do you know their price reductions last Saturday, which is just two days ago?  You’ve been housebound since your arrival in London, and there’s no Supermarket X branch near here.”  

    It turned out that she’d seen their advert (for the latest reductions) on TV.  The reason she’d given, however, was that she knew about the price reductions “of course”, because she lives “next to Supermarket X”.

Example 3:  

Sally (not her real name) and I were talking about the Chinese community centre where she goes to for lunch once a week.  I asked about the new cook:  what he’s like, how his cooking compares to that of the last one who’d retired.  We carried on a bit, reminiscing about the previous cook who was such a nice and kind man.  

Sally then said, without there being a gap in the conversation, “Adam got kicked out!”

Adam (not his real name) used to be a volunteer as a kitchen hand at that Chinese community centre.  Sally keeps in touch with him, so she knows his latest movements (him doing part-time work as a cleaner, e.g.) and developments (not working at the community centre anymore).

I said, “But I thought he’d left because of his bad back??!!  What did he do to get kicked out??”

It turned out that Sally was referring to Adam losing his rented flat.

Example 4:

Alice (not her real name) had asked me to track down a particular item (X) at a particular supermarket chain.

    Every time I have delivered her fruit and veg, which I buy for her as she can’t carry them because her legs are not strong enough, she wants me to text her when I reach home.

    Last week, I sent a text, upon arriving home, to say I’d got home, adding in a new paragraph that I couldn’t find the item X she’d wanted me to buy at that supermarket chain.

    Her reply came back with, “Excellent!”

    Now, is that excellent that I’d got home in one piece, or excellent that I’d failed to find item X??  Has to be the former, but surely one doesn’t provide one answer to a text that mentions two different matters, or one does a reference (like they do with the Subject line in an email, or in the old fashioned way, “With reference to…”), which can be simplified to, e.g.,

    Got home:  excellent!

    Can’t find item X:  oh, never mind.

    This is what I do when I reply to texts: do a summary heading so that the recipient knows what I’m talking about.  Saves a lot of bewilderment (even “What’s wrong with my brain??!!”).  Saves to-ing and fro-ing clarifying.

    I’m getting very worried about my reaching that stage…

    Am I gaslighting myself??!

(London, 2024)