Chinese sayings: 26 (愛之深責之切)

 

愛之深責之切

ài zhī shēn zé zhī qiè

The deeper one loves, the more cuttingly one reproaches

Old friend Chris and I were reminiscing about our SOAS (School of Oriental and African Studies, University of London) days.

    One teacher who liked him (fortunately for him, as she had a reputation for targeting one student in every grade) would say the way he wrote the Japanese letter ほ made it look like a bean sprout.  

    My reply:

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Ah, that might have been one of those cases of 愛之深責之切 (the deeper one loves, the more cuttingly one reproaches [or mocks/laughs]).  You can tell from the fact that it's a set phrase that it's common practice.

    My St Joseph's Convent Primary 6 form mistress was a Mrs Enid Byrnes, a Scottish lady who was very fond of me (she signed my autograph book with "To my darling [+ my name]"), but always singled me out precisely because of this.

E.g.,

1. She'd hide my school bag (put it outside the window — we were on the ground floor), and watch in glee as I searched everywhere.
2. She'd drop a small piece of chalk down my back, and watch in glee as I tried to fish it out.  Our school uniform was a white short-sleeved shirt under a dark blue pinafore, belted at the waist, so the small piece of chalk would be wedged in there, trapped by the belt.  She'd then say sternly, "Stop fidgeting!”
3. She'd say maybe I could marry Mario, her son, then during school release time, she'd suddenly look out of the classroom window and say, "Ah, I see Mario walking home from school!" and call out, in a lilting "yoo hoo" voice, "Ohhh Maaa-riooo!" and watch me blush.

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(London, 1980; Singapore, 1966)