Ambiguous signs/notices (London)

Lots of pillar boxes in London used to have two compartments, marked “London” and “Country”.  I was once standing by one of these when I overheard a baffled American tourist ask, “Which country?”

This sign along the side of London Tube escalators is increasingly disappearing now:  “Dogs must be carried.”  Someone once asked, “What if I don't have a dog?”  Someone else asked, “Where do I get one?”  

(London)

*pillar box: (in the UK) a large red cylindrical public postbox.

Batting it back (London)

On one of my Saturday night pub shifts, I walked past a high round table at which were seated two men in their fifties.  They, like most of the customers at this north London pub, were very friendly towards me, saying a cheery hello and asking how I was.

About half an hour later, I was around that part of the pub and found them now seated in one of the booths, with two new female additions.

One of the men said, “We’ve moved.  Sorry to confuse you.”  I said, “It’s not confusing.  It doesn’t make any difference, because all Westerners look the same to me anyway.”  All four of them collapsed in laughter. 

(London, 2017)

Freudian slip?: 2 (USA)

Evening Standard, 27 Jan 2017:  

QUOTE  

White House drops an ‘H’ and a clanger

Aides were left red-faced today after the White House misspelled Theresa May’s name.  

The president’s press office sent out a memo about Donald Trump’s Oval Office meeting with Mrs May today but missed out the “h” in her first name.  It read:  “The President will partake in a bilateral meeting with United Kingdom Prime Minister, Teresa May.”  The “h” in Mrs May’s first name was dropped in two other mentions.  The mistakes were later corrected.  

The slip-up is all the more embarrassing as Teresa May is a retired glamour model and former soft-core porn actress. … 

UNQUOTE

Freudian slip?

(USA, 2017)

Self-incriminating action surely? (Malaysia / North Korea)

Metro 23 Feb 2017:  QUOTE Two women suspected of killing the half-brother of North Korea’s leader in Malaysia were trained to coat their hands with toxic chemicals then wipe them on his face, a police chief said yesterday.  They had practised the attack at two Kuala Lumpur shopping centres before targeting Kim Jong-nam at the city’s airport last week claimed Khalid Abu Bakar.  He said CCTV showed them keeping their hands away from their bodies after the fatal poisoning, then going to the toilets to wash.  North Korea — whose ruler Kim Jong-un is suspected of ordering the hit on his sibling — ridiculed the police claims.  It demanded the immediate release of the two ‘innocent women’, Doah Thi Huong, 28, from Vietnam and Siti Aisyah, 25, from Indonesia.  UNQUOTE

I can understand the "ridiculed the police claims" bit (an act of immediate self defence when accused).  But why should North Korea demand the immediate release of the two suspects when they aren't even N.Korean citizens?  Also, how did they come to the conclusion that they are innocent?  Finally, they're not even saying the women should be released; they are DEMANDING their IMMEDIATE release.  Self-incriminating surely?  

(Malaysia / North Korea, 2017)

Chinese traditions: Bride Price (Singapore)

In the old days, when matchmaking was the standard way of pairing up couples, once the man’s family had picked a girl for their son (very rarely the other way round), they’d send a matchmaker over with an offering.  This was often, but not exclusively, in the form of a sum of money.  

Even numbers, being double, are auspicious, as the hope is that happy events will be repeated, so the bride price figure would be an even number.  (By the same but reverse-significance token, contributions towards funerals would be in odd numbers.)

If the girl’s family was financially on a par with the boy’s, the bride price would be even more of a mere ritual.  They’d accept a token even-number figure and return the rest (also as an even number).  For example, the boy’s family would send over a bride price of $800, the girl’s family would keep $200, and send back $600, which are both even numbers.

When my mother’s cousin and his girlfriend decided to get married, they still observed the tradition of having a matchmaker go round to the girl’s family with an offering, even though this was Singapore in the late 1960s and it was not an arranged marriage.

The girl’s family is from the Hakka (客家 kèjiā / “guest family”) dialect group.  To the Hakkas, the number 9 is auspicious (along with “dog” as it sounds like 9 in their dialect).  If a male child is born at 9 o’clock on the 9th day of the 9th month (and a dog is barking outside at the same time), the child will be sure to have a great future.

Given this background, my mother’s cousin sent over a bride price of S$999.99.  The girl’s family kept the whole sum, to retain the maximum number of 9s.  

When the matchmaker came back with an empty basket, the family said to him, “Why couldn’t you have fallen in love with someone from a different dialect group?  At least we would’ve got some change back!”

(Singapore, 1960s)

* Hakka |ˈhakə|

noun (pl.same or Hakkas)

1 a member of a people of SE China who migrated from the north during the 12th century.

2 [ mass noun ] the dialect of Chinese spoken by the Hakka, with about 27 million speakers. Also called Kejia.

adjective

relating to the Hakka or their language. the Hakka language and culture.

ORIGIN

from Chinese (Cantonese dialect) haàk ka ‘stranger’.

Letting machines do the work (London)

Trying to find out when electric pumps first came about at petrol stations, so typed in Google box: "electric petrol pumps when did they first come about".  Back came a prompt from Google: "Did you mean: car electric petrol pumps when did they first came about".  Note: They italicised and emboldened "came" in case I missed it!

On a separate occasion, first spotted on Sunday 08 January 2017, FaceBook asked me:  "What did you study at SOAS, University of London, MA Linguistics in 1994?"  I won't be totally redundant soon then (as a human / teacher / translator / proofreader).

(London, 2017)

Update, 12 Jan 2017:  Hahaha, another one from FaceBook:

QUOTE
What is your position at Spouter's Corner, Wood Green?

Lecturer
Bartender
Team Leader
Chef
Customer Service Associate
UNQUOTE

Lecturer position at a pub??

(London 2017)

Time warp (Isle of Skye, Scotland)

On a self-drive tour of the Isle of Skye (N.W. Scotland) in 1984, I came upon a petrol station with a hand pump instead of the electric ones which had by then been in common currency for a few decades.  When I remarked on this, the owner told me that a power outage on the island a year back had seen his station inundated by drivers, as it was the only place on the whole of the Isle of Skye that could dispense petrol manually.

The shop itself was like a film set for a 1940s film:  built-in wooden shelves lined all four walls straight up to the ceiling, sparsely stocked with tinned food and packets of dried foodstuff.

The shopkeeper was chatting to the lone customer in Gaelic, the latter’s pile of shopping sitting on the counter, with a spanking new Casio cash register machine beside it.  Since I was waiting to pay for the petrol, the shopkeeper broke off the conversation to tot up the customer’s purchases, which he did mentally, then entered the final total into the Casio.  

Old habits die hard indeed.

(Isle of Skye, 1984)