Choosing to share or not: 01 (Helping the newcomer)

The mainland Chinese drama series (aired in 2022, probably set around that time) I'm watching at the moment has the female protagonist being picked by the new boss to be his PA (Personal Assistant) from being a cashier at the cake shop, which is much further down the chain of the company's businesses.

    The whole office (all female staff, bar one) is abuzz with bristling indignation at who she might be to have got promoted so spectacularly -- or, more importantly, what she might be to him.

    The boss tells her to get one of the office staff to show her the ropes.  When she asks a female colleague what she is/has to do specifically, the reply is:  

    "眼里有活儿就行 / (English subtitles) You just need to see where there's work to be done." 

    Other translations for the reply 眼里有活儿就行 are:

    (AI translation) Just be proactive / Just see what needs to be done

    (my translation) Just use your initiative

    Googling tells me the meaning behind the phrase is:

    一个很常用的职场和生活化用语，意思是：一个人有眼力见儿，能够主动发现需要做的工作，并主动去完成，不需要别人叮嘱或催促。

    (google translate) Quote A commonly used term in both the workplace and everyday life, meaning: a person is perceptive and can proactively identify tasks that need to be done and complete them without needing reminders or prompting from others. Unquote

    This reply by the female colleague is very obviously a form of stonewalling, out of professional and sexual jealousy.  (The new boss is young -- in his mid-/late-30s? -- and suave.)

    (From googling)  Quote. Stonewalling is a refusal to communicate, cooperate, or engage in a discussion, often acting as a "stone wall" to block interaction. It involves shutting down, avoiding, or evading questions, commonly seen in relationships (as a form of the silent treatment) or politics to avoid scrutiny.  Unquote

    This reminds me of when I was about to leave Singapore for London, back in 1977, and the new secretary was brought in a week early to overlap with me, so that I could show her the ropes.

    I went over all the usual work duties and tasks:  the filing, sending out telexes, the technical lingo (this was an American company, WKM Valves, supplying mainly, but not only, to the oil and gas industry), etc.

    I taught her behind-the-scenes tricks as well, which was outside my remit, e.g., how to correct typing mistakes in a telex tape (which looks fiendish, if not well nigh impossible, but is easy once you know the trick) instead of starting afresh, which would thus save her a lot of time and stress, not to mention earning a poor work reputation.  It was something I'd learned during my three months as telex operator for Conoco Singapore before I got my Private Secretary's Certificate exam results from the London Chamber of Commerce and started working as a legal secretary for law partnership Boey, Ng and Wan.

    Work-related issues aside, I also showed her where to go for lunch:  a hawker centre nearby but tucked away, not visible from our office block by the main road.

    For those who don't know Singapore:  the hot and humid climate means that it's physically sapping to walk even 10 yards, so knowing exactly where to go is useful, as it saves one having to find places by trial and error.  She was grateful for this reason.

    I also gave her a phone number for ordering lunch to be delivered to the office, for a small charge.  In those early days (1977), there was no internet to help one search.  Food delivery service was also not common, in my experience, if it existed at all.  One either knew (e.g., through the man actually coming round to advertise or drop off their contact details, say, a name card), or one didn't.  Singaporeans were not in the habit of making sandwiches for a lunch box -- not as tasty as a local-cuisine meal.  So, knowing where to go for cheap and delicious local food, never mind within walking distance as well, was a knowledge gem.

    My replacement (in her late 20s or early 30s) said to me, "I've worked at a number of places.  You're the first person to share all your knowledge with me, unstintingly, even beyond your professional remit.  People have always been reluctant to help, or at least not been as generous."

    My reply, 

    "The way I see it is:  we're not in competition.  I've already established my reputation with the bosses here -- they offered me the post after my first day as a temp.  I don't see what there is to feel threatened by.

    "Even in competition, one doesn't have to climb up by pushing other people down.  One uses one's own abilities to go up, without having to shine a negative light on other people.

    "If you're capable, the boss(es) will see it, without having to compare you with other people.

    "It is also in my upbringing and in my nature to be as helpful to people as possible."

(China / Singapore)

The Gents' (Singapore)

I was temping at WKM Valves in an office block in Singapore, assigned to two American male bosses who’d decided to rent their own premises after sharing an office and support staff with another company on a different floor. 

    On the first day, I went to the ladies’ loo and found the door locked, so I asked one of my bosses, Larry, who gave me the only key he had.  It was a small room, with a hand basin and urinal area, and a lock-up cubicle beyond that.  

    I used it for days without running into anyone, until one day, I was emerging from the cubicle just as a local Chinese bloke was entering from the outside.  

    He halted abruptly, took a look at me, stepped back to take a look at and above the door (which gave no indication of what it was, not even the fact that it was a toilet) to see if perhaps he was the one who’d wandered into the wrong room, and said, “This is the gents'!”  

    I didn’t know what to say, so I replied simply, “Well, just shut the door after you.”

    Within a few minutes, the manager of the building — a very genial man — turned up at my desk, hesitated for a bit as if not knowing how to broach the subject, then said with an amused smile, “I hear you’ve been using the men’s toilet.”  

    It turned out that it was the toilet for male executives, of which I was neither.  

    My impression from the reaction of the chap I’d encountered earlier was that he was probably more indignant about me using the executives’ toilet as a mere secretary than about me using the men’s toilet as a woman.  

    The manager gave me another key, this time to the Ladies', which had eight cubicles.

    The very next day, in the post arrived a card from Houston, Texas, where Pete (British geologist who’d worked in Conoco Taiwan for a year) was visiting Conoco Houston.

   

    The cover of the card had a hole through which one could see a woman’s side profile, smiling, above which were the words, “I like you…”.  

    Open the card, and inside were the words “…because you are different!”  

    The picture was of the woman, with her back to the reader, standing at a urinal using it, flanked by two men.  

    Pete wouldn't have known about the toilet incident because it'd only happened the previous day, and his card from Houston would’ve been bought and posted at least a week before.

    Talk about uncanny!  Spooky or what??

(Singapore, 1977)