Sunday, 11 January 2026

Chinese perspective on inter-human relations


The Chinese generally have fairly strongly defined rules about inter-human relations, especially within the family or clan.  You have to show respect to your elders, whether you like them or not, whether they're worthy of the respect or not, etc.  You also have to acknowledge the familial link with them, in the sense of accepting their authority or position, say.

    Back in the 80s, I met a mainland Chinese chap in his 30s at dinner in a friend's house.

    His father had gone over to Taiwan pre-1949, to seek a better life, I think, leaving his wife and fairly new-born son (the man I met at dinner) behind in mainland China, to be sent for at a later point.  Then 1949 happened on the mainland, and the father was stuck on the other side of Taiwan Straits.

    After x number of years, the father gave up hope of being reunited with his wife and son, so he started a new family in Taiwan.  Another x number of years on, he emigrated to Sweden, and sent for his son to join him there.

    I asked the man, "So, how did you feel when you first met your father at the airport?  Did you feel anything for him?"

    His answer was: "Of course!  He's my father!"

    It got me thinking afterwards.  I'd like to have had the opportunity to do a kind of control test on this, like how they do it in science and research.

(from googling) Quote You test the instrument or method on known negatives (e.g., testing a pregnancy test on people who aren't pregnant) to catch false positives. Unquote

    My control test would be:  send a total stranger to the airport to collect him, claiming to be his father, then take him home to live with him for a few years, maybe even a couple of decades.  Then tell the son, "He's not your father," and see if he might feel the same "of course!" closeness to the real father, having built up a relationship with the stranger over the years of living with him.


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