A false beginner student (let’s call her Mary) on the full-time degree programme had been missing classes. She then failed a module or two. I was concerned and tried to get her to come and see me to talk about it, both as her academic tutor and personal tutor. She never responded to my numerous emails. One day, I ran into her in the street, and put my request to her face.
The following day, she turned up, looking very frightened, expecting the worst from me. The first thing she said as she walked in was, “I’m so sorry.”
I said, “Don’t apologise to me. You should apologise to yourself.” She looked completely taken aback.
I said, “I’ve already got two degrees. You’re in the first year of your first degree. You’re being irresponsible to yourself, so you should apologise to yourself.” She had to digest this unusual approach.
Next, I asked, “Who’s paying your fees?” Her father, she said. I said, “Then, you should also apologise to your father. You’re throwing his money down the drain. You’re being irresponsible to him.”
She didn’t know what to make of it. Obviously no one had ever taken that approach with her before.
I continued, “If you hate it so much, then why not drop out from the Chinese degree, and go and do something else that makes you happy. It’s a lot of money to waste [fees were a few thousands pounds at the time] and be miserable while you’re at it to boot.”
She remains in contact to this day.
(London, 2008–9)
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