Chinese traditions: Bride Price (Singapore)

In the old days, when matchmaking was the standard way of pairing up couples, once the man’s family had picked a girl for their son (very rarely the other way round), they’d send a matchmaker over with an offering.  This was often, but not exclusively, in the form of a sum of money.  

Even numbers are auspicious, as the hope is that happy events will be repeated, so the bride price figure would be an even number.  (By the same but reverse-significance token, contributions towards funerals would be in odd numbers.)

If the girl’s family was financially on a par with the boy’s, the bride price would be even more of a mere ritual.  They’d accept a token even-number figure and return the rest (also as an even number).  For example, the boy’s family would send over a bride price of $800, the girl’s family would keep $200, and send back $600, which are both even numbers.

When my mother’s cousin and his girlfriend decided to get married, they still observed the tradition of having a matchmaker go round to the girl’s family with an offering, even though this was Singapore in the late 1960s and it was not an arranged marriage.

The girl’s family is from the Hakka (客家 kèjiā / “guest family”) dialect group.  To the Hakkas, the number 9 is auspicious (along with “dog” as it sounds like 9 in their dialect).  If a male child is born at 9 o’clock on the 9th day of the 9th month (and a dog is barking outside at the same time), the child will be sure to have a great future.

Given this background, my mother’s cousin sent over a bride price of S$999.99.  The girl’s family kept the whole sum, to retain the maximum number of 9s.  

When the matchmaker came back with an empty basket, the family said to him, “Why couldn’t you have fallen in love with someone from a different dialect group?  At least we would’ve got some change back!”

(Singapore, 1960s)

* Hakka |ˈhakə|

noun (pl.same or Hakkas)

1 a member of a people of SE China who migrated from the north during the 12th century.

2 [ mass noun ] the dialect of Chinese spoken by the Hakka, with about 27 million speakers. Also called Kejia.

adjective

relating to the Hakka or their language. the Hakka language and culture.

ORIGIN

from Chinese (Cantonese dialect) haàk ka ‘stranger’.