How to interpret responses from Chinese officials (Xiamen, China)

In 1996, my brother had suggested we go visit our father’s birthplace in S.E. China, so I threw in Xiamen as a second destination because ten days would be too long for my father’s birthplace alone.  A retired SOAS academic, Russell Jones, had been the inspiration behind this, by saying that if I wanted to see the Singapore of 50 years back, I should go to Xiamen.  We’d been talking about how most of Singapore’s old Chinatown had been torn down in the cause of advancement and development.

One evening, my brother came back from a few beers with a Singaporean friend of his working in Xiamen, with this story from the friend:

If one was applying for a permit to run some kind of business in China (or maybe only in Xiamen?), one would need to listen carefully to the official’s response to interpret what is expected of one in return in order to secure approval of one’s application for the permit.

Response 01:  

If they say:  我们去研究研究 / wǒmen qù yánjiū yánjiū / “we go study study”, it means on the surface, “We’ll go and ponder over it”.  

The subtext is:  they want cigarettes and alcohol (cigarettes = 烟 yān; alcohol = 酒 jiǔ).  

(The tones for “study” are different from those for “cigarettes alcohol” but this is not that important when it comes to punning — an approximation of the sounds will do.)

Response 02:  

If they say:  很有机会 / hěn yǒu jīhuì / “very have opportunity”, it means, “Your chances are good”.  

The subtext is:  they want a TV set — 电视机 / diànshìjī / “electric view machine”.  And presumably a 36” colour one at that too, no less.  

(机 jī in “opportunity” and “machine”.)

Response 03:  

If they say:  要看看你的表现 / yào kànkàn nǐ de biǎoxiàn / “have-to look look your performance”, it means, “It depends on how well you do”.  

The subtext is:  they want a watch, presumably a Rolex gold one, no less.  

(表 biǎo in “performance” is also “watch”.) (表 biǎo / to show)

Response 04:  

If they say:  很有前途 / hěn yǒu qiántú / “very-much have front journey”, it means, “There’s a good future ahead [for your application/business]”.  

The subtext is:  they want money, which is infinite.  

(前 qián in 前途 / future sounds exactly like 钱 qián / money.)

(Xiamen, S.E. China, 1996)